I am pondering my future as of late. It seems I am at a cross roads where I need to make decisions to either live my dreams or give into the world and become a good little drone and do what is expected of me.My dream of going to Australia to live and work will only happen through a sponsor I have come to realize. It costs thousands of dollars for the visa and it guarantee's nothing for me; through a sponsor though I can just come over and my little red dog can join me and we can finally become ocean side dwellers. My dog is well suited to become a beach dog as I am a beach bum. I am at a loss the economy now is uncertain and my future is uncertain as well because I am trapped in a tide of emotion right now because I stand at the edge of the void. I want so badly to make it to Australia because never have I felt so at home and alive as I did for that brief moment I spent there. The people the foods the lifestyle are more than anyone could hope for such a wonderful way to exist. I also would be able to spend time with my best friend, our friendship is one that defy's the odds as many have stated to me knowing me and the love I feel for my best friend. She if you are lucky to know her has a soul whose waters run deep and whose longing for the magic lost to us all still burns with hope. Dreamers I guess is what most would call our kind poets and kindred spirits floating on the winds of life and somehow finding each other even if only for a brief moment. Sometimes people, places , experiences, and moments shared are like taking a drink of cool water after thirsting in a desert of lost souls finding that one person who still embodies humanity in its most beautiful form. It's like being hungry for so long and some one gives you something to eat and the flavors are over whelming and full of wonder at how something so simple could taste so magical. We all often take these moments and people for granted because like a pair of old shoes that become to comfortable and we forget to appreciate that very fact of how the comfort us in our everyday lives. My dream is not dead but it is on hold for now and this troubles me. Someone once told me to just do it and everything will work out in the end. As I stand on the edge of the great void I feel a deep sense of fear that compels me not to jump. My dreams are telling me that if I don't though I can never be with them. So I am at a loss right now torn left pondering my future!
