Lost In Space!

Do you remember that show from old the family gets sling shotted to the edge of the galaxy. Well thats how I am feeling these days like I have been shot to the outer rim of the galaxy with only my dog and a few friends to keep me company. Relationships are represented by hostile alien forces that are either trying to kill me or just being completely stupid much like the Jersey Shore! Why is it that emotions run so deeply in some and so shallow in others I still have yet to understand this dichotomy. I have a great example; someone asks for my number calls wants me to hang out then bam they disappear never to be heard from until the next random encounter. "Damn Aliens!" I really do not know what anyone really wants from me at times which is really weird. I still have hope we are gonna make it home one day and all will be well in the universe. Call me crazy but I am the eternal optimist. Not always but a definite most of the time for sure. What is one to do except trudge on and try to make the best of a situation that has been laid before them. I am lucky in the fact that I do have really great friends for support and the little red dog to keep me company on that journey through space and time or as I like to call it "life". I have accomplished most of my goals, I am almost debt free and I am ever searching for the next great adventure. Life is good! So why am I bothered by people who come into my life at random times? Is it because they never stay long or is it because they leave me feeling of little importance or that I am left feeling unwanted! Whatever it may be it still feels like I am lost in space!

New Feelings!

It's nice when we find old feelings that have become new feelings quite the relief indeed. I have been going through many many things as of late trying to get my life to new heights not only in my career but on personal levels as well. Things for the most part seem to be coming together and this is most agreeable indeed. I find myself so often helpless and floating on the winds of time them always taking to where they want me to be. I am but a servant to them to be cast about on a great vast ocean called life. Some days I am lucky though they put me on solid ground and let me feel the earth once more even if its just for a bit. I thank Fate for her kindness to me as always. Well i might be getting that dream job soon and I might have found someone to share it with only time will tell if either is real! But I don't really care because its the journey not the destination and I am so enjoying the journey right now! I need to take a road trip to Cali soon so I can reconnect with some old friends in Cali and in Vegas its been far to long and I would enjoy meeting their new families as well. So the tribe grows! The little red dog was jealous though she put herself in between me and my new other. To funny but she and I have been it pretty much since she was born so understandable lol! I am excited to see where things will go and what my future holds with any luck we will be happy I will have that career finally and life will be in full swing again ready for the taking! I went mudding with the neighbor this weekend near the river and the river was so beautiful and inviting to me for some reason. the water was so blue and clear very uncommon in todays chicken house polluted waterways we have nowadays. I am ashamed sometimes to call myself human when I see us hurting animals the environment and most of all each other its really sad that we have so much potential yet we waste it to feed the capital machine. We will pay for our stupidity one day maybe even in my time. Enough of the negative things are great and lets just leave them at that. Hope all are well and that yor lives are where you always hoped they would be!

Pieces!

Well another Valentines Day has come I will be short and brief for what I am writing of is quite plain and simple to convey. One cannot love only pieces of a person for we are not confections to be consumed in only pieces. You cannot have only the good parts we must love someone for all their parts because, well we only come in one whole package. Problem is most people cannot get past this very problem myself included. My little red dog is my path to being a better human being though. She loves me for me and she loves all of me unconditionally. Because this small creature has shown me a path to how to love I am eternally grateful. Leave it to a creature so small to show me a truth so large. I have been trying to love all in my life in this very way and will continue to do so until my time or theirs has ended the fact that my pup has shown me a new way is incredible and I will love her till the end of time for it. Just remember love comes to us all in so many ways just try to let it find its way into your heart and soul and love all the pieces.

Winters Cold!

So its the last day of November and I am ready for December. I start my cardio regimen tomorrow in hopes of shedding a few pounds and feeling a little less sluggish. Christmas is coming and while I still am not much on celebrating it I am excited about spending time with my family and friends. Going to the out fitters soon to get some supplies for a new back packing trip that me and R Kelly are headed out on. Getting the little red dog her own pack as well should be interesting. I have had a very interesting soul searching month this last month, I think my loneliness is at the root of my dilemma. I seem to faultier most when this feeling takes a hold of me and a side of me I rather don't like comes out. I dated a woman four a grand total of four days and ended it when she got angry with me because I had been out hiking all day accusing me of other things and calling me her boyfriend already after only a few days all warning signs to me. So I will continue to look for a special someone but I do not hold hope in high regards at this moment but will still endeavor to keep pushing on. I have been reclassified at work as just a technician it seems to be going up and going down quite allot not really sure what thats all about but it bothers me to feel unstable right now. It has given me the thought of returning to school though at this time and changing careers which I think it is time for such a change to occur. So I am looking at this more of a blessing in disguise. I am saving for a trip back to Australia soon and look forward to spending time with my friends there. I miss them and I miss Australia greatly. I also want to take my daughter with me on an adventure soon so we shall see what comes of this and with any luck and money I will succeed in my quest for travel in the near future. Well not much more to say at the moment except that I am thankful for my life and whatever it has in store for me and that I am glad the little red dog is by my side keeping the loneliness away as she always does.

Sowen!

Well its the first day of October and the air is getting cool and crisp. I have waited for this all summer and what a long hot summer it was. I bid you farewell now summer because I have missed fall and wish to spend time in that season now. It is so strange how life has its many twists and turns as well as its many seasons. The funny thing is, we as people have seasons as well many seasons of the soul as it grows and finds itself. I do not know if I will find a new job soon, I do not know if I will be accepted in to Rad Tech school. What I do know is that I will continue to get up every morning and thank God for the breath I breathe and the chance I have to make all my dreams come true. I am a late bloomer in the responsibility game but I am at last here. Better late than never, a friend i have not seen in some time now stopped by to see me yesterday and as we talked I had asked him of jobs in Texas. I wish to move to Texas soon if possible, what I found out was very grim many people unemployed right now but as we talked he paid me a great compliment and reminded me about myself and that I have a great ability to talk with many peoples of any stature. He told me that on my customer service skills alone I will find that job that I seek. I had already been having a great day feeling great and enjoying the sun on my face and that just made it even better. Thanks Aaron! I really am fortunate while I don't have many friends I have great friends that are supportive and quite wonderful in their many ways. I played with my little red dog as well it was her birthday this month so I bought her a penguin and we played. My girl is two years old now and still as fun as ever. I also got a call back on a teaching job but it was in Korea so I am a little apprehensive of that due to the teacher kidnappings I have heard of in that country so we shall see what becomes of this. I will leave this entry with a wish of hope and faith in a great month to come. I will also hope that everyone has a month filled with happiness as the Celtic new year approaches and a new year is about to begin. May peace and happiness be at your door when you leave and when you return home.

Lost Dreams!

It seems more than ever I am wanting to just up and leave my security blanket and just go and start living my life. I have hoped for at least five years now to move to and live in Australia. I have a beautiful and wonderful friend there who is my best friend. I have not seen her in over three years now and our tea and coffee time are the moments in life I cherish most. Problem is finding a sponsor which in reality is my only hope for ever making this dream happen at all it would seem. I am hatching a scheme soon that might actually work for me and get this dream aloft on the winds of life once more. I finished my degree and that was for quite some time my biggest obstacle. The economy and foreign immigration laws seems to be my issue as of late. I am not giving up on my dream but I am going to start, at least trying, to get this dream to its reality. I don't know what life has in store for me but I will go to visit my friend and her family soon and I will try to get the attention of the people or persons that can help me to fulfill my dreams. We shall see what the future may hold I am still fighting for happiness and I will continue to do so. Me and the little red dog have been hiking allot and we have been spending allot of time outdoors as of late. I have been trying to eat better and get back into a more healthy lifestyle with more exercise. I have lost over 10 pounds so I think I might be on the right track. I want the next time I go to Australia to be fit and ready to wow that prospective sponsor. LOL! I realize that its a long road ahead, as it has been a long road just to get to where I am presently. I just know I will keep trying because it is not in my nature to give up. I refuse to have lost dreams!

Pondering my Future!

I am pondering my future as of late. It seems I am at a cross roads where I need to make decisions to either live my dreams or give into the world and become a good little drone and do what is expected of me.My dream of going to Australia to live and work will only happen through a sponsor I have come to realize. It costs thousands of dollars for the visa and it guarantee's nothing for me; through a sponsor though I can just come over and my little red dog can join me and we can finally become ocean side dwellers. My dog is well suited to become a beach dog as I am a beach bum. I am at a loss the economy now is uncertain and my future is uncertain as well because I am trapped in a tide of emotion right now because I stand at the edge of the void. I want so badly to make it to Australia because never have I felt so at home and alive as I did for that brief moment I spent there. The people the foods the lifestyle are more than anyone could hope for such a wonderful way to exist. I also would be able to spend time with my best friend, our friendship is one that defy's the odds as many have stated to me knowing me and the love I feel for my best friend. She if you are lucky to know her has a soul whose waters run deep and whose longing for the magic lost to us all still burns with hope. Dreamers I guess is what most would call our kind poets and kindred spirits floating on the winds of life and somehow finding each other even if only for a brief moment. Sometimes people, places , experiences, and moments shared are like taking a drink of cool water after thirsting in a desert of lost souls finding that one person who still embodies humanity in its most beautiful form. It's like being hungry for so long and some one gives you something to eat and the flavors are over whelming and full of wonder at how something so simple could taste so magical. We all often take these moments and people for granted because like a pair of old shoes that become to comfortable and we forget to appreciate that very fact of how the comfort us in our everyday lives. My dream is not dead but it is on hold for now and this troubles me. Someone once told me to just do it and everything will work out in the end. As I stand on the edge of the great void I feel a deep sense of fear that compels me not to jump. My dreams are telling me that if I don't though I can never be with them. So I am at a loss right now torn left pondering my future!