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So I have not written in sometime but have the urge to do so today. I am in a new job and possibly headed to another soon only time will tell.I am in the best relationship I think that I have ever been in EVER! My daughter has had a baby boy and he is adorable and probably one of the best things that I have ever known besides my baby girl! Her mother the witch that she is is still defrauding the child support people and they as usual do not care about anything except my check. So i have a bit of turmoil in my life but I am going to let whatever may be be! I am still moving forward and that to me is what counts. Sorry if my blogs always seem like bitch sessions I use this as an outlet to vent and get feed back on maybe some one who has the same issues as me. But as of yet not but only a few have read my blog let alone commented on it lol! Such is life and how interesting and hard it is to keep it moving. I am so very tired of our law makers and their constant meddling with our ever diminishing rights as citizens. I remember when I loved and believed completely without doubt or reservation in our country and its decision makers but now I feel abandoned and lost to a system that seems to not care unless I have an enormous amount of wealth. But anyhow just wanted to touch base not really any deep stirrings going on right now other than the sadness at an empire in decline. Be safe be cool be happy my friends life is short!
I am still wondering why when everything is going well that I still have wickedness in my heart. I have heard there is a bible quote about cleansing ones heart or something. I need to do that and rid myself of my wicked soul, thoughts whatever is the root of my unhappiness. I wonder why we so often go on self destructive behaviors. I find myself clinging to them like a security blanket and it truly bothers me something awful. I keep fighting them though and I will beat them but will it be to late will I have hurt the ones I love by then or will I finally win. I do not know I can only put my life in Gods hands and hope he can help me find the strength I need to be a better man. I have so much to lose more than I ever have in my life now and this is when it seems to be the hardest to keep the faith. Who knows I do wish I could cleanse my heart and be the man I know I am. Sorry I am just rambling on and on about nothing and everything. I blog I think as a form of venting as well as a way to get feed back but what is funny I never get any feed back I am just not that interesting it would seem lol! Oh well I suppose it is better to be unknown than known on these things. I will continue on trying to keep my heart and self in line and God willing pull myself up out of a potential nose dive. I will do it I always manage to keep it together and I will find a way to cleanse my wicked heart!
I often wonder how God knows what or who we need in our lives when we are seeking our way. Mine is so blessed these days I could burst. I have the love of a beautiful woman both inside and out and of course the little red dog for whom always gives me unconditional love and affection. I truly am blessed by all these people and kindred furry spirits. I recently became a grandfather and I felt that feeling I felt when I held my daughter for the first time. Love so deep and pure that only a love that has existed form times beginning could have sent it my way. My grandson has touched my heart in the same way I am madly in love with him and I have only just met him! I find it hard to understand how we can do this but I never look at a gift such as that as being anything but a miracle in my life so for this I give thanks! I recently went to south Padre Island in Texas! It was for the most part it was a great experience, I was with my girl and my dog. I was stressed out on the financial side of things, so I was not having as great a time as I could have and probably ruined it for my girl by stressing as well but she was a trooper and kept the faith. I am trying to get myself ready to return to school but I have failed over and over to save money as I needed to so things have been a tad bit tight for me and the pup. We will weather this storm and all storms to come I assure you of this for sure! I am so very glad for each breath I draw and hope that God blesses my daughter my grandson and all my friends and family with a long and very happy lives while we all keeping seeking our way in life!
Well the new year is at hand and I am feeling quite good about the direction I am heading! My job still sucks but I am thankful for having one! I will fix that soon when I start back to school and try to make a new life and a new career! I have met some one and I really am glad to have found her quite a surprise in my hum drum little life! So weird to find some one that is so much like you and yet different enough to make it interesting we shall see where this goes but so far it's going very well! My daughter has been on a roller coaster ride as of late details to follow but I will pray for her and hope for the best! I hope that life is everything that my friends and family want it to be and that you all find the new year to be more than you could have hoped for! I will keep looking for another job and I will keep hoping for a better tomorrow! Live well my friends just wanted to wish you all the best on this new moon rising!
I am always amazed by life and how it can bring with it many new surprises and even more so new roads to travel upon! I have been thinking of my future as of late and a career change is in order for sure. I have been in technology for 15+ years now and have grown tired of the bureaucratic and political crap of the business world. I know one can never escape these things. I do hope to change my field and possibly my place of residence within the next two years hopefully with a ocean nearby to help me cope with the stresses of my new career! I have found a new friend that shares my desires and my love of life and we seem to be on the same path in life in many ways. I find this quite refreshing and very exciting. It's been so long since I have had good company and even longer since I have known some one that is so down to earth. I keep hoping that this will continue to grow and bloom. I have such high hopes that life will become better with age like so many good things do! Time really is a wonderful thing some times when it's not taking the grains of sand from our lives. My friend had reminded me that we first started our friend ship by the light of the full moon. Something which seems to hold some importance to her so I truly enjoy the moon even more so than I did before! So here is to many many more full moons together and to what ever their light may bring!
